Before I was ever pregnant and had kids I remember always hearing that it was never a good idea to plan to get pregnant with your friends or siblings. I heard horror stories about what terrible things can happen and the jealousy that could be sprouted around having babies at the same time. Since then I have had two babies and am here to say that that 100% percent was not the case for me, in fact if you do get pregnant with your bestie, I’d say you were lucky!
Becoming a mother for the first time is something that no one can really prepare for, no one can tell you how your body and hormone’s are going to change or how you will act on very little sleep day after day. The truth is that you really do become a new person after having a baby and it is a wonderful thing to be able to go through though changes with someone close to you. It allows you the opportunity to talk about your current experiences and realize that the strange things that are happening aren’t so strange after all.
I just want to add a little disclaimer: Getting pregnant isn’t as easy as saying I want to get pregnant and then you are. It was a coincidence for me to be pregnant with my sister the first time and another sister and bestie the second time. Things can happen that make it a hard experience but if you do end up blessed to be pregnant at the same time as another important person in your life, make the most of it and don’t compare.
10 Ways To Make The Most of Being Pregnant With Your Bestie
1. Remind each other of Pregnancy Milestones // Pregnancy for 99% of people (my own statistic) is not all fun and rainbows. You are uncomfortable, tired, don’t feel good and are experiencing things with your body that you have never experienced before. Make the most of it by reminding each other about the size your baby is, talk about hearing the heart beat and feeling those new little kicks. Celebrate the joys that come along with the uncomfortable changes.
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2. You Can’t Drink Together // If you don’t drink then just skip right over this, but if you do, then you are not alone. Your pregnant bestie is there to be sober with you, experiencing the holidays together without that glass of wine in your hand. Explore the world of mocktails together and remember it’s only for a short time period.
Photography: Steph Schulz Photography
3. Don’t Compare // This is huge. I was told by a number of people that relationships were ruined when pregnant with their bestie because they or the other person compared too much. Just keep in mind that always talking about yourself isn’t awesome and make sure you are still being a considerate friend. I mean that should go without saying but sometimes we all need a good reminder.
4. Document Your Bumps Together // Something that I had the hardest time with was capturing my bump and making sure I remembered. When you are pregnant at the same time as someone each week you can remind each other to snap that bump photo, maybe you even want to take some side by sides to remember how you both grew together.
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5. Be Open // This made the BIGGEST difference for me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done the first time around if I didn’t have someone going through the same experiences as me. We were both so open with each other and shared the good and the not so pleasant happenings with our bodies during pregnancy and post-partum and it made a huge difference on feeling normal and knowing that everything was OK!
6. You Can Literally Hang Out Everyday // But actually, if you get pregnant at the same time as someone and they aren’t already your bestie… they will be at the end of your maternity leave because you can literally hang out everyday. Why not hang out all the time, it helps pass the time and you get to have your baby around another baby, this is great for them as they get to the later end of your mat leave and they start interacting with each other more.
7. Book Appointments Together // This might seem a little strange, but again when you are both on mat leave and both can’t do appointments (like your eyebrows for example) with your baby… do it together. While one person is getting worked on the other person can watch the kids, win freakin’ win.
8. Take Each Other’s Photos // While you hang out everyday don’t forget to document it. That first year goes by SO fast and you are going to want photos, not just selfies but actual good photos of you and your baby together. I recommend, if you don’t have one already, invest in a camera and learn how to use it together.
9. Encourage Each Other // You know exactly (for the most part) what your bestie is going through as you are also experiencing it on some degree at relatively the same time as the other. It is so easy for us mom’s to forget what happens during pregnancy or the first 6 months or more post-partum. Be there for your friends who are experiencing the same things, even if you don’t feel like you can encourage because you don’t feel good I can promise it will be worth it and you WILL feel better after.
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10. Exchange Child Care // When it is time to go back to work keep the kids close by having the opportunity to exchange childcare or help out in a rut. It can be the most helpful part about having kids at the same time as someone else close to you and is also so beneficial for your child to be around people their age. Don’t let the bond end when the mat leave does.
I have felt so blessed to experience both of my pregnancies with other friends and my own siblings and I know that it doesn’t always work out that way. If you are trying to get pregnant with a friend and it doesn’t work out, work hard at still being there for that person and know that your time will come and you still have the opportunity to connect and make a new bestie that is going through pregnancy with you.
Most of all I want to encourage us mothers, new and repeat, to be there for one another. It is easiest to relate when you are going through the same stages in your own children’s lives, so make the most of it and chose encouragement over judgement.
What We Are Wearing
Bags: Fawn Design
Kid’s Leggings: Little and Lively
Necklaces: Mint and Birch
Roundie Blanket: Plaj Towels
Photography: Steph Schulz Photography