When is it that you become a mother, when you get pregnant or when the baby is born? Or what about for those that don’t go through the birthing process, the mothers that become mothers by other means, like step-parenting or adoption. For each person the time they truly felt like they became a mother is most likely going to be different, as each of us have our own unique mothering experience.
The day that my husband and I got married I became a mother to a three year old boy. On our wedding day I not only vowed to stand beside my husband, but I also vowed to be the best mother that I could be to my new son.
I grew up taking care of kids a lot, babysitting and working in our church nursery were common occurrences, though nothing can really prepare you for when you become a mother. For me, I feel as though I got to experience becoming a mother two times, when I became a mother through marriage and then when I carried and delivered our first daughter.
Photography: Julie Christine Photography
Both experiences leading to motherhood were really quite different, they come with their own unique challenges and emotional rollercoasters. I expected them to feel the same, which lead to having guilt about experiencing different feelings. Though, now looking back at it, as Sophie has reached the same age that Ezra was when I became his mother, I understand the difference in feelings. The different kind of mother that I am to a newborn and a three year old.
You can’t compare what it is like to be a mother of a newborn and a mother of a three year old. I was going through each child’s milestones for the first time as I learned to mother a newborn for the first time and mother a toddler for the first. I expected that I should be feeling the same emotionally. When you become a mother, you can not predict your emotions, especially when post-partum is a factor, for each birth and experience of becoming a mother is unique, your emotions will be also.
Just as we shouldn’t compare how we mother to how our friends and family mother, we shouldn’t compare how we mother at one age compared to the next. Each child is unique, each age comes with new challenges and throughout our years of mothering we will build new strengths and strategies.
So for those of you who became a mother more than one way or those who have become mothers in just one way, we all need to remember to go easy on ourselves. Doing your best is the best you can do. Becoming a mother is hard work, celebrate each milestone and love yourself just as much as you love the little being you are pouring everything you have into. Your story is your own and your journey is your own unique mothering experience.
Outfit details:
Matching Shirts: Whistle & Flute
Milk and Cookies Leggings: KEWE Clothing
Black headband: Arrow and Lace Designs
Handmade knit toque: Wild Child Designs
Geometric Moon Bracelet: DearLovesCo.
I loved reading this. Wow I admire you so much, loving and caring for sweet boy as your own. It’s so true we all are quite hard on selves as moms and feel Guilt when tings don’t go the way we want them too. Your really a great mama. PS I hope your sister is doing okay and your family is in my prayers.
Thank you so much Mai, this is so so nice to say.